Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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