Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Randomize
