none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
