we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
