I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
