I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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