i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize