dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
