Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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