They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Randomize
