i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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