Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
