Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize