Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
