I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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