i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
