apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
