i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
