I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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