She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
