Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
