I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
