Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
