fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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