Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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