im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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