I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
