I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
