Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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