You're my little dorito
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
