At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
