drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize