Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
