She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
