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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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