If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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