He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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