ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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