He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
