I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize