dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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