Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
