Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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