The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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