He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
