He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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