Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
