I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
