god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
