Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
