Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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