your parents love me but you hate me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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