so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
