I need help removing her.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
wow bdsm is so cute
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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