you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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