it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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