dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
