Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Are my feet made of real feet?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
